World, please pay respect to the princess. After the long wait, sleepless nights, baby shopping and the never ending name picking, finally --- Nina Sofia Temple B. Agustin is here. Weighing 9.2 pounds, 4 kilos to be more precise, I gave a C-section birth to an angel on November 1st, 2012.

We were all hoping for a normal delivery, but my last check-up with my doctor, she said that there she might opt for a C-section since she is overdue and it might create complications. Before I went to the deliver room and after giving daddy a see you later kiss, a few minutes after she's out.

I heard the doctor, 10:05am, she's a wonderful baby and very huge, I heard her cry, then I passed out, moments later I woke up in the recovery room and then asked for the nurse if I could see her before I go to my room.

I could not believe that this bundle of joy came inside of me, nurtured her for 9 months and the baby talks that daddy made just to ease the pregnancy pains paid off.  The kind of happiness I'm feeling every single day that I see her is something that I will never exchange for anything else.  My life is now complete, I have something to live for and to die for, I now have a purpose.

And to you my dear Temple, I will always love you, and give you everything to make you happy.  You are a God's gift and I will treasure you for the rest of my life.  And to you my darling Redd, thank you for helping me pull through, for all the love and the care, you are heaven sent.  I love you both.

Happiness.

I may not have the richest man in the world, but he gave me the most expensive gift that not even diamonds can buy.
He may not be the boss of his own company but he is hardworking, he turns day into night and night into day.
He may not have the grandest of all cars but he would take me places.
No, my man is not perfect, but he is to me.

He may not give me pearls, but I know he would swim the ocean.
He may not give me diamonds but he would shower me with so much love.
He may not have a cape and he may not fly me to the moon, but he is my superhero.

He is not an action star, he is not a star, but I will always be his number one fan and he will always be my superstar.
He is my greatest hero, my one true love, I might not own the world, but he is the world to me.
I may not be rich but the skies gave me the most expensive gift.
And if I fade, I will fade happy, because once in my life I had the world's best Daddy.

Maybe, Someday, One Day.

Do we really get over the pain when someone passes away? How long do we have to endure the loneliness? How do we cope? What are we supposed to do so we will be alright? How many happy thoughts do we need to think about so we can say that we are okay?
It's been 7 months, and I still miss you, I still hope that one day I will see you and you will tell me that you are here to stay, maybe one day I will see you and I can hug you and smother you with kisses.  Maybe someday we will celebrate your birthday, my birthday and we will have more Christmases together.
But I know it will never happen, I know that I can only whisper my wishes to the wind, that Christmases and New Years will never be the same.
How do we get on with our lives without a mother?

How do we take care of our own without our mother telling us that what we are doing is right or wrong?
How do we move on when our heart gets broken when it's only our mother who can save us from being in pain.  I don't really mind if my mother can't fix my problems as long as she's there.
If I have one wish, I wish I can spend one more day with you, so you can tell me what I need to know, so I can tell you the things I never said, or I can just hug you and kiss you and eat cake with you.
I love you Mama, I miss you and you will be a "Lola" soon, I know that along the way, you will help me and make sure that I am raising my kid the way you did, or maybe even better.
We named her Nina Madison Temple Agustin -- I was telling her Dad that if you were here, you would probably add more names, she is a blessing, a blessing that you helped me with, so thank you for bringing this so much happiness in our lives, even if you were gone you still managed to give us gifts and you gave me the most expensive gift of all.

Thank you Mama, I will talk to you in the wind.  Don't mind if you want to give me a hug or two sometimes.

The Waiting Game.

I knew about you when I was 9 weeks and 4 days pregnant, you are like a little peanut floating inside my tummy and I am never happier. Finally! The overwhelming happiness that I'm feeling is simply gratifying knowing that I am raising a child inside me.  Everyone's happy and they keep on giving their two cents on how it is when pregnant, how will it feel when I am about to give birth, everyone is so nice and everyone is making you feel loved. How can I blame them, you are indeed lovable.
I'm telling you that having you is not easy, we had to wait for 7 years before you came around, then there were sleepless nights and weird cravings and acne and brittle hair and dark spots, I think I am the ugliest pregnant woman that ever landed in the face of the earth.  I sleep like a bear hibernating, I fart when I sleep and I fart even when awake, I am the farting master.  Then to make it more grand, I spent 4 days in the hospital because it felt like you are about to pop out early, but you changed your mind. You scared the hell out of your Daddy, aside from the fact that he paid for the bills.  And now, your Dada wake me up with a kiss on my tummy saying -- there goes some scratches on your tummy, she wants to go out already.  You will be out in no time, 6 more weeks little monkey.

living my not so perfect life, perfectly.

Do you get jealous of how some of your friends live their perfect life.  When they can just go out whenever they want, while driving their cars or if they are really lucky, they have a chauffeur to drive for them. Where they can spend money and go shopping and buy everything they want.  Where they go out every night with friends and drink and be merry.  A friend who jumps from one guy to the next. I do.
I don't have a fancy car, me and my partner have a beaten up Toyota, -- and that car is kind enough to take us to places.  We only spend what we can afford, but every money spent is well-deserved, a really good dinner or a lunch date or a really nice movie, and the best part of it all is I am with the man I love.  The man I loved for 7 years.  
I don't hang out with famous people, I hang out with real people, with real stories to tell. 
I don't buy fancy clothes, I let my hubby buy it for me.
Your are rich, I am not, but I have something that you cannot have and that is having a family of my own, someone to call my own, and now I have a kid of my own.

I perfectly understand why you would rather be silent than be happy for me, it is because you can never be a mom like me.

Love Turned Almuranas.

While I was doing my usual tele drama marathon on a Friday night, I came across a friend's tweet about an old flame and expecting that maybe the flame is still there, unfortunately not even a spark was seen or felt.

When you stop loving someone, do they look ugly to you? That not even a single word of praise can be heard coming out of your mouth, whilst that mouth used to kiss him before. 

When you asked him out to go out with you, do you expect that you will fall in-love again?  And if the feeling is gone, do you dispatch of him right away or tell him. "Natatae ako, wait lang, babalikan kita." hoping that maybe he'll get turned off and not see you ever again not even at your funeral. Tang ina lang diba?

When the guy you used to love before, even if he looked like an "almuranas", is the only guy you will set your eyes on no matter how ugly he is, that even if his entire wardrobe was taken out of his brother's closet, you wouldn't mind.

So my friend, watched Erik Santos' concert last night with his ex, hoping that maybe it would work, and unfortunately nothing was there.  He simply had to dispatch his ex, making "pula" about his cheap shirt, his pants that doesn't fit, his watch that is so last season and the shoe that just doesn't work with the entire wardrobe, according to him, the before-he-looked-like-a-hunk is sadly just ordinary.

my name is...my name is...

I guess, aside from being pregnant for 9 months and giving birth, one of the ultimate challenges of being a parent is to make sure you have a very good name for your little one. 
It's something that you and your partner should think about a lot, since your kid will be stuck with his name, well for the rest of his life.  You don't want him to hate you for coming up with a really ridiculous name.
Here are some guidelines that you can follow when picking names for your baby:
1.  Know the baby's gender. It will be easier to think of names once you know if you are having a boy or a girl.  It will filter your choices.  If you   choose not to know the baby's sex, proceed to tip number 2.
2.  It will be cool to name your baby after your parents, or a friend -- but remember it is your baby, it doesn't matter if it will please your relatives, but if you don't like it, then it won't probably feel right.
3. Try to say it out loud.  Does it sound nice? Melodious? Harsh?
4. If you still cannot decide -- try to have a "name that baby" party -- invite relatives, close friends to your baby shower and let them help you on picking out your baby's name, aside from all the fun you will have, you will also have the time to bond with the special people you know before you get busy with your tiny one.
5. Lastly, if you can't think of a name right away, wait until you give birth and until you have your baby in your arms, look into his eyes and then you'd know what to call him.

31 weeks of pure love.

I can't wait to see you.  Me and Dada are full of excitement and so much happiness knowing that it'll be weeks now till we see your little hands and feet, your pink little lips, your eyes, your ears.  I knew about you last March 27, 2012 -- and now we are a few weeks away.  I know that being a mother is not going to be easy, but who cares.  I know that this is something that I want to do for the rest of my life, and with your Daddy beside me, helping me out, I know it will be like a walk in the park.  Your Daddy loves you very much, he loves us both.  He is the perfect daddy, you know.  He'll make us healthy breakfast, just like today.  So when you go out, you can say thank you to him personally by giving him a sweet kiss and a tight hug.

We love you so much baby, see you soon.

30 weeks and counting.

   This is it, the final 2 months or less until I can see you, your Daddy calls you "Peanut", he buys you all the stuff that you need and it seems endless, I am really excited about seeing you, but I guess he is more excited, as early as now he thinks of songs that he will sing to you when he puts you to sleep, his favorite movies which are all funny by the way, he even wants you to take "taekwondo" as a sport, and he wants you to be a doctor when you grow up.  He even wants to teach you his "old school" jokes and tricks.  You are very lucky you know, you are loved and you will be surrounded by more love once you are out of mommy's tummy.

He kisses us every night, before we go to sleep.  He touches my tummy and calls you "Peanut" and everytime he does, you would give me a tiny kick.  You are a kicker!  He would cook and would feed us really good, he is a very good father.  I think he will spoil you.

We both love you, and finally on October we will see you, your tiny little hands and feet, your face, your eyes, your lips, your nose, we are so thrilled to touch you and kiss you and finally hold you.

Reality Show Turned Circus.

I don’t mean to be mean but that’s all I can be when I see something like this. I’m not saying she looks disgusting because I wanna put her down. But I’m also not gonna say she looks great because SHE DOESN’T! This is not even in the same zip code as “She looks okay.” She looks anything but okay.
People say she’s just trying to express herself.  Say what?

If you really want to “express yourself”, you’re not supposed to end up looking like a troll or a demon doll rejected from the factory, or in this case, The Bride Of Chuckie. You’re not supposed to look like shit!!!
I’ve nothing against trying to be different, getting a new look, expressing yourself, and all those cliches . But seriously, if you’re going to “express yourself” you will still have to think if you’re doing it right. Self-expression doesn’t have to mean completely changing the way you dress and how you do your hair. Self-expression isn’t just a physical thing.

If it doesn’t work for you, why force it? If it’s getting too much negative attention then maybe it’s time you think it out - maybe there’s something wrong, maybe its not really working, maybe you really are trying too hard.

You can go ahead saying “I don’t give a shit what people think I freakin love my new look” but if you’re a celebrity or a public figure, you are put under a microscope for the rest of the world to see and you’re going to get criticized and judged for everything you do.

You can’t say you still don’t care. When all you hear everyday are people’s rude comments about your fat face, your disgusting taste in fashion, your horrible hairstyle, and other things about you they don’t really know about, it will get on your nerves one way or another. Who gets hurt at the end of the day? Not them. It’s you and your self-esteem damaged.

I’m not trying to say we have to always consider what society thinks of the way we express ourselves. Okay, fine, fuck what they all think! But the point is, we are expressing ourselves because we want the world to see who we really are, what we’re all about, and all the awesome things we are capable of. If done right, self-expression would never end up in humiliation and scrutiny like this. There are so many other ways you can be yourself without looking horrible and stupid and creepy - unless that’s exactly the message you are trying to send.

A FRIENDLY ADVICE: Just because you can doesn’t mean you should. Express yourself in a way that will make you feel comfortable, confident, and unique. There is no need to overdo it. It’s actually pretty easy if it comes naturally.

Kalderetang Batangas

Some great chefs can cook really good "caldereta" but my own chef Redd Agustin cannot top my own version of "Kalderetang Batangas", while some put carrots and potatoes and tomato sauce and tomato sauce, I like to keep my version simple but delicious.

Ingredients:

* 1 1/2 Buto-buto ( you can use ribs if you want).  I use bones because it gives out more flavour.
*  onions (3 whole minced)
* garlic (1 bulb minced)
* Reno Liver Spread (Large)
* 1/2 butter (diced)
* 1/2 cheese (shredded)
* chili (siling pula) (minced)
* meat cubes
* salt and pepper to taste
* cooking oil
* water

How to cook:

1. Saute onions and garlic in oil, once golden brown put the "buto-buto" and 1/4 of the butter, put 3 cups of water, cover and let it simmer.  Put more water if desired to simmer the meat.

2. Once the meat is tender, put meat cubes or meat granules, liver spread and cheese.  Make sure that you stir the dish continuously to avoid burning, continue cooking under low heat.

3.. Lastly put what's left in the butter, salt and pepper to taste, if you wish to add more water to create more sauce, please do.  Add the chili and simmer for 5 more minutes or until fully cooked. 

4. Serve with plain rice.

5. Enjoy!

Hospital Checklist for First Time Mommies

Creating your checklist and the things you need to bring to the hospital when you deliver can be a little bit stressful, especially if you need to travel far long and you are not sure if you forget something, once you are on your way to the hospital, there is no time for turning back.  I am a first time mom and I am very excited about everything, but first things first, create your hospital checklist, this includes the stuff you need to bring for your baby, for yourself, for daddy and of course your birth plan.  I wish to share mine just in-case you are still fuzzed on what you need to bring:

 

The list that I have for my new born might depend on every mother who is going to deliver, just make sure that you bring extra for each to make sure that you have enough, some OB-GYNE will provide you their own checklist and it's up to you if you want to put more or less.  I suggest more :)

 

Other delivering moms rather prefer black underwear because of stains, but I'd rather use my granny panties since I will dispose of them after giving birth and buy a new set of nice, sexy underwear once I'm back to shape.  The hospital will provide their own pillows, towels and robe, however it is nice to feel that you have something that is more familiar to your senses.

And lastly,

Let us not forget the list for Daddy, especially that he is the reason why I have this checklist,

he tends to forget things. :)

Now as for your birthplan, this is something that you need to discuss with your attending doctor and your partner, things when giving birth can be unexpected however it is still safe to have a plan that you can stick with when its time.  If you don't have an idea yet on how to put your birth plan together, click the link below and use it as a guide for your birth plan.my birth-plan

For delivering moms, we can do this!