The Countdown.

I am now on my 3rd month, officially a mother.  I tell you, being pregnant is not easy, well at least for me, it's not that I am complaining, but it is difficult, especially during night time, the frequent trips to the bathroom, trying to find a spot so I can get a good night sleep.  The weird cravings that I get every now and then, my old clothes doesn't fit me anymore, my shoes, oh my lovely, lovely shoes, I decided to keep them away for the meantime.

Right now I have all these baby fat, baby bump, pooch, kangaroo purse --- but I don't really care, I am one happy pregnant lady, I love the fact that I am growing a life inside me, that I finally quit smoking and that I am more careful of what I do with my body.  Sometimes I feel sad that behind all these life-changing event I am missing one person, that one person who knows everything about bearing a child, that person who knows what to do when something goes wrong, that one person who will be the happiest is no longer around.  Mama knows what to do when I feel weird, I know she will tell me of the things that are bad and good for me, but I know that even if she is not around she is watching over me and my little one, making sure that we are both safe and healthy, I still miss here, I miss her so much, too bad that my little one won't be able to meet her Lola.

But I am excited to see you, "peanut" as what your dad calls you, I can't wait to tell you all the good stuff, how kind-hearted her granny was and how we will face the world together, I know that I will be a good mother, I will raise you, the way I was raised by your Lola, I know you will be smart, beautiful and I am so proud of you. I can't wait to see you. I love you.