Motherless.

One of the greatest heartaches I ever had was when I lost my mother.  I am now motherless, if there is such a word.
My mom took care of me almost her entire life.  I was her first born.  She would always tell friends how difficult it was to carry me, she said I was heavy, she said she would crave for apples when she was raising me in her womb.  My mother used to fix my hair when I go to school, she would bring me to her office during weekends and buy me stuff.  I can still remember every time I am with her even when I was still little.  My mother is very fond of fixing and moving furniture in the house, she would make sure that everything is in its right place, she did not build a house but a home.
My friends would envy me for I have the coolest mom, and she was indeed the coolest mom, she has this funny dance and a voice that cannot carry a tune, but I always look forward to calling her on her phone and she would could me her "baby."  But now, not even her laugh I can hear.  She would never make us worry if she's troubled or sick, even when she died, she didn't tell us that she was battling breast cancer.
I am not a perfect daughter but I'd say that my mother was the happiest of my achievements and would teach me and guide me when I fall.  Everyone would turn their back against me, but never my mother.  On the night before she passed away, I asked for her forgiveness, touched her beautiful hands and kissed her and told her how much I love her.  I always do, but now I can only tell how much I love and miss her to the wind.
When I h ad my first job, I'd buy her stuff, I always give her jewelry she liked the big, chunky ones and she would ask me to buy her bags which we both love collecting, but now every time I'd buy things I'd miss her more.
My mother was not the best cook, but no one can cook spaghetti and gelo like her, she became famous to friends and family because of her spaghetti, but now I'd look at spaghetti differently and not even the best chefs can compete with my mother's cooking.
During the wake, people would cry of her passing, everyone loved her and everyone regrets that she is now lifeless.  It broke their hearts, it shattered mine.

My mother is a funny woman, she would have antics that everyone would remember to name a few, she say "betty boob" instead of betty boop, she would say "patutsin" instead of paotsin and she would say "chichu" instead of shihtzu.

I would miss her every christmas, new year, birthday, valentine's day, but most of all I will miss her everyday. I know she might be not physically here but I know that she can still see me, and she will always be there whenever I need her.  She is officially my guardian angel.

I miss you Ma, and I don't think I can go on without you but I will try because I know that's how you want it. Too  bad that I am not able to give you a grandchild and you will never be at my wedding, I promise to raise my kids just how you raised us, and take care of my husband the way you did with Pa.

I love you and I will see you again when it's my time.

Mahal na mahal kita.