Missing You.

I missed you today, I miss the times where I just have to call you and I know that you'd pick up the phone and you would call me "baby".  I miss the times when I share you stories and you would give me advice.  I miss the time when I hold your hand and you will squeeze it back.  I miss your smell, your voice, when you laugh and your funny jokes.  I miss it when you call my name.  I just miss you.

I love you, and no one can replace you, no one can do the things that you do, no one can make me cry like you do, no one can make me laugh like you do and no one can talk to me like you do, your voice calm me down, your touch makes me feel that I will be alright even if the whole world is against me.

But I know that you will not be there anymore, I will never hear your voice and you will never hold me again and more and more everyday I long for you, I wish I have a time machine so I can go back to the times when you are just a hug away.

Until now I hurt, I can never be specific on when I will be okay, I remember when someone told me, "It is ok to mourn but you should be okay next week." Oh how I would like to slap that person for telling me that.  Losing someone forever is not something like losing a pair of shoe, or a pair of earrings. Losing someone and not seeing them again is something you can cry about when you feel like it.

I still long for you, I still whisper your name to the wind hoping that you can hear me.  I know you do, and I know that you are watching somewhere together with the angels.  But I know I will be okay, that I will be fine because that's what I promised you and I will take care of the people you love and I love.  And I know that when it's my time to go I will see you again, that is why I look  to everyday till I reach 60.

I guess I just miss you Mama.  I love you and I will see you in time.