Work At Home Moms.

I am having my first born, and now I am torn between working continuously or quitting my job and be a full time mother and a housewife.  Unfortunately, I think I will be working full-time since my husband is not earning enough so we can live comfortably, we live pay check after pay check, he has a son and unfortunately the kid doesn't have a plan of working and would rather be a bum his entire life.

They say being pregnant is very overwhelming, you get to experience weird things inside and out, but it's all worth it.  Unfortunately, it's a different story for me, getting up in the morning is a challenge to me but I have to because I have to work, as early as now I want to buy stuff for my "Peanut" but I don't have the spare money to buy anything at all because I am helping husband to pay and maintain the house.  Right now, I feel like we (me and my baby) are not a priority as of the moment since most of the expenses goes to the house rent, paying the bills ---where his son gains more by being on the computer 24/7.

Everytime I get my pay, most of it goes to him, gas money, for the market and when he doesn't have money anymore because he hasn't received his pay check yet.  I am really frustrated but I have to live with it at least for the meantime, until he gets a better job.

So bad I want to be a full time mother so I can clean the house the way I want, cook food for my husband and make sure that everything is in it's place, although it's hard to move around since I am on my 25th week.   But I know I can be a really good housewife and a mother.  And besides, hiring a nanny is not practical, you pay her 3,500 php and she gets to enjoy taking care of my kid, that's not right, plus there's no spare room for her where she can sleep, I just hope that things will turn out fine once Peanut is out.

Who Wants Milk?

Unfortunately not all of us (referring to women) were given the chance to be blessed with big bazookas, but boy this lady here Sheyla Hershey sets record with 38KKK juggies. 28-year-old Sheyla Hershey of Brazil is the proud owner of the world's largest breasts -- with a staggering, life-threatening, and unfortunately-named bra size of 38KKK. But she wasn't done yet. On her way to achieving her dream, she encountered certain roadblocks, like Texas law. The state limits the amount of silicone that one person put in their body because the implants could kill her. So she headed to Brazil, which has no such restrictions, and walked away with the breasts of her dreams.

Papa's Birthday.

Today is my Dad's 66th birthday, and we never ran out of ideas on how we should celebrate it, last year we surprised him on the eve of his birthday.  It was fun and I never seen my dad so happy.  The surprise birthday party was all mom's idea.  Mom is now gone, today Dad will celebrate his birthday without Mom for the first time, it's just him and my brother, while I stay here in Manila and my sister is now out of the country.  Ever since Mom died it feels like nothing is worth celebrating. 

There will be more birthdays like this, more Christmases, New Year's. 

We misss Mom.

Missing Mom.

It has been 120  Days   -- or --   17  Weeks and  1  Day that my Mom passed away and everyday I miss her.

I miss it when she is just a phone call away, and she would excitedly pick-up every call and giggle like a happy child just because you remembered to call her.  I miss the days when we fight over text messages when I promise to come home and I cannot, because something needs to be done at work.

I miss it when she would ask me to buy her things, funny how things change when you are big and she would ask you for small things -- and even if you don't have the money for it, or if you think she has the same exact thing, you would still buy it for her.

I miss it when she would tell me stories that only her and I know, it's like having our own girl club exclusive just for us.

Sabi nila pare-parehon lang daw ang pakiramdam kapag nawawalan ng magulang, pag namamatay, pare-pareho ng sakit, pare-pareho ng pag iyak. 

Nasubukan mo na bang mawalan ng nanay? Hindi ko naman sinasabi na okay lang pag tatay ang nawawala, pero bakit pag nanay parang ang laki ng nawala, parang ang daming kulang, parang ulam na sinigang, hindi sya sinigang kung hindi  maasim.

Pag nanay ang nawawala, parang sabog lahat, parang hindi nawawala yung sakit, parang paulit-ulit.  Yung ang dami mo pa palang gustong gawin at sabihin pero hindi na nga puede kasi wala na, hindi ka na nya maririnig.

Pag nanay ang namamatay, parang buong pamilya kasama nung inilibing, parang bigla na lang nagkanya-kanya na lang ng buhay, parang hindi na kayo magkakakilala.

I miss you Ma, sana kahit five minutes lang makausap kita, mayakap and mahalikan.

Mahal na mahal kita.

7 signs that your child loves you

This article wasn't written by me, it is solely owned by babycenter.com but I would still like to share it anyways.  babycenter.com helped me through a lot during the process of my pregnancy and more, and this is just one of the articles that will definitely help first-time moms.  Enjoy!

1 Your newborn stares into your eyes.

He's actually working hard to memorize your face. He doesn't understand anything else about the world, but he knows you're important.

2 Your baby thinks about you even when you're not around.

Between 8 and 12 months old, she'll start to scrunch her face and look around when you leave the room — and she'll smile when you return.

3 Your toddler throws wicked tantrums.

Nope, those screaming fits don't mean he's stopped loving you. He wouldn't be so hurt and angry if he didn't trust you so deeply.

4 Your toddler runs to you for comfort when she falls down or feels sad.

Kids this age may not truly understand the meaning of "I love you," but their actions speak louder than words.

5 Your preschooler gives you a gift.

A flower picked from a garden, a finger-painted heart, a sparkly rock, or another small token is his way of saying you're special.

6 Your preschooler wants your approval.

She'll start to be more cooperative around the house, and she'll look for chances to impress. "Look at me!" will become a catchphrase.
7 Your grade-schooler trusts you with secrets, like his first crush or his most embarrassing moment.

You're his confidante, even if he shies away from your hugs in public.

10 Types of Guys Women Will Regret Dating

 

Dating.

The very thought of dating can bring even the most sane woman to her knees.

From the first-date jitters to the weird way he insists upon folding his socks, you may consider joining a nunnery rather than hopping back into the dating pool.

 Here are the 10 most common types of guys you'll see out there on the playing field.

The "It's All About Me Dude": You'll know this classic narcissist when you find him looking in the mirror and fixing his hair over your shoulder as you embrace.

Pros: He's hot.

Cons: He's not as hot as he thinks he is. 

The Starving Artist: You'll know this guy because he's waiting tables while waiting for his carefully-penned book to sell or his record deal to magically fall into his lap.

Pros: He's sensual and great in the sack.

Cons: At 40, he's still playing in a grunge band, positive he's going to "make it big" one day. 

The Metrosexual: This guy knows all your shows -- from Golden Girls reruns to Sex in the City, he's got them all under his belt -- and will happily watch them again.

Pros: He knows if your bag matches your lipstick and knows the best place to get manicures in town.

Cons: You can't tell if he's gay. 

Your Boss: This guy isn't YOUR boss, per se (hopefully, because awk!), but he's THE Boss -- the Big Big Boss -- the kind that makes his employees shiver whenever he's nearby.

Pros: He's assertive and not afraid to go after what he wants.

Cons: He'll occasionally treat you like an employee rather than a partner.

Casanova Complex: A true romantic, this guy has been engaged more times than you can count on one hand, always convinced his next date will be with The One.

Pros: He'll shower you with praise and compliments.

Cons: As soon as you show that you're human (by burping after dinner, for example), he's moved on to the next One. 

The Professor: This guy is a genius (or believes he is, at the very least), able to talk for hours about quantum physics or astronomy.

Pros: He's very interesting to listen to.

Cons: Because he "knows everything," you'll never be right. 

Uncle Pervy: This guy knows everything about you, from where you graduated to the type of honey you put in your afternoon tea, he's got it all laid out.

Pros: You never have to explain what you're doing.

Cons: You'll never have to explain what you're doing because he already knows. 

The One: You'll know this guy from the sweeping montage music playing in the background when you two meet.

Pros: well, he's The One!

Cons: He only exists in movies from the 1930s.

BFF: You'll know this dude because, well, you guys are besties -- have been for years.

Pros: He knows you and STILL loves you.

Cons: Dating means that you run the risk of ruining a great friendship.

That Dude With the Accent From That Small Ass Country You Can't Remember the Name Of: You'll meet this guy as you wander around the dog park or at a small coffee shop.

Pros: His accent leaves you breathless.

Cons: He's hoping to marry you for a Green Card.

I'm Bored, Let's Make Meatballs.

I love meatballs, i love them in my spaghetti, i love them plain with my fresh tomato sauce, i love them on my burger, I just love them.

This is how I cook my meatballs:

Ingredients

Meatballs:

• 1 1/2 pounds ground beef
• 3/4 cup quick oats
• 1 cup milk
• 3 tablespoons very finely minced onion
• 1 1/2 teaspoons salt
• Plenty of ground black pepper
• 4 tablespoons canola oil
• 1/2 cup all-purpose flour

Sauce:

• 1 cup ketchup
• 4 to 6 tablespoons minced onion
• 3 tablespoons distilled white vinegar
• 2 tablespoons sugar
• 2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
• Dash of hot sauce, such as Tabasco

Directions

For the meatballs: In bowl, combine the ground beef and oats. Pour in the milk, and then add the onions, salt and pepper. Stir to combine. Roll the mixture into tablespoon-size balls and refrigerate them for 30 to 45 minutes to firm.

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.

Heat the canola oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Dredge the meatballs in the flour, and then brown the meatballs in batches until light brown. As they brown, place them into a rectangular baking dish.

For the sauce: Stir together the ketchup, onions, vinegar, sugar, Worcestershire sauce and hot sauce. Drizzle the sauce evenly on the meatballs.

Bake until bubbly and hot, about 45 minutes.

So This Is Love.

For Peanut

Mommy's Letter to Her Baby.

My Dearest Peanut,

Did you know that Mama is soooo excited to see you?  I wish I can make the days go faster, so I can hold you close to me. 
It took us, Dada and I to find you, and we did. I always think about you, before I go to bed, when I wake up and in between the days that I have to spend here at work. 
Did you know that since I learned about you, everyone's been really nice, they keep on bringing and  feeding me stuff, I guess they like you as much as I do.  Well, there were days that you are not yourself, you move around too much in my tummy that it hurts -- pretty bad.  But I know you don't mean to.

The nickname "Peanut" was given to you by your Dad, he thinks that you looked like a little peanut in Mommy's tummy.  He would talk to you every once in a while specially when I don't feel very well, he would give me circular massages on the left side of my tummy since that's where you decided to stay, and then we would both fall asleep.

I was waiting for you for too long that I almost gave up, but you came along and now your are 21 weeks old, a few more and I will see you and your cute little nose, eyes, lips and your tiny little fingers.  I am now living for you and for your Dad, I hope that you will like me when you get to see me.

Mama loves you very much.  I will see you in the next 19 weeks!

I love you.

Salt.

Try dashing a lil' bit of salt in your chocolate drink, stir and drink, tastes really good! Works with orange juice too!

i love the way you lie.

click me

unloved.

Part 2.

When do we stop loving?

Is it when we find someone better? More good looking? Someone who has better to offer? Not fair.

Okay lang naman na saktan mo ako, I guess its all part of the whole shindig, you do something wrong, you hurt the person you love, you get to be aware of what is painful and what could hurt them, and then you stop,   and then you try it again, see if you can get away this time, if you get caught then you say sorry and promise to not do it again.  Or at least give it a week interval.

I hurt you, once.  And I paid for my mistake, and I was true to my promise that I will never hurt you again, and then you hurt me once, twice, thrice, and you even asked me to leave your house which I did, and when you realize that you are wrong then I come running back to you, ready to love you again.

Why do you have to hurt me when you can easily just tell me to leave you alone? Why do you have to get caught doing the same thing when you can just stop and not do it? Is it because you are bored with me? That I am not the cool chick you once met? Why was I never enough? When you are enough for me after all the weight gain, that I stood by you after4 jobs and the 2 where you got fired? When I try to be your cheer leader when no one wants to cheer you up.  If you are the type that will get bored quite easily on relationships, then relationship is not right for you.

I was accused of something just because some Chinese dude courted me and then everything is at fault again, why do I have to take all the blame when I did not do something wrong and yet it was me who caught you doing something.

You said you will not do it, one because it is wrong, second is because you cannot afford it, why can you not just do it because you love me and you don't want to hurt me?

Why do you have to hurt me when all I do is to love you?

unloved.

Part 1.

Paano mo ba malalaman na mahal ka?

Is it enough that he tells you everyday that he does? Is it enough that he does things for you, like take you out to a nice dinner, treat you to your favorite movie or even buy you a nice pair of shoes.
It is sad to know that this is how some of us quantify love, when the real truth is it doesn't have to cost you too much just to show someone that you love them, what if money was never invented, or restaurants were not built, or girls never liked shoes, how will you show someone that they are loved?
There are different kinds of love -- there is love between family, which I am blessed to feel in my years of existence, surely we have fights but that's what families are for.  There's love of a friend which I am able to test, I am lucky to be showered by friends that really cared, friends that doesn't consider distance.  And there is love that you want from someone, love that will never hurt, love that will never get justified, love that will never cheat, love that will be contented, a happy love.  For a long time I had relationships -- and in these relationships I got hurt, but I never gave up, I thought to myself, if other people can find their one true love, well so can I.  I even got married thinking that maybe this person was my one great love, it turned out the man was sick and he needed to someone to take care of him, I can't stay in a marriage that was built through lies, so I left.
And then I found you, June 25, 7 years ago, I knew it was love, you would drive a long way just to hold my hand and say that you love me and that you needed to see me before you do something grant, you used to say I am your charm, that I am your rock.
There are things I  had to give up for you, not that I regret it, but I know that there are things that I am fully capable of doing when I love someone more than myself, I left my family for you and lived with you in our little house, and I was really happy that finally after years and years and years of searching -- I found you.

Surely it wasn't the perfect relationship, nonetheless it was for me, sleeping with you on the same bed, cooking for you, doing things with you, taking nice vacations --- all of these are wonderful but the best thing of it all is I get to do all these with you.

Our fights are unimaginable, we fight like men, there's shouting and throwing and crying and scratching of all sorts, but at the end of it all we still loved each other.

When did you stop loving me? Why are you so unhappy? Why can't you be not contented.  I am being hold against that time when I cheated on you, which happened once and I was blamed because I cheated for the reason that you disregarded me, that you just kept your distance and just shut off and I was left wondering why you had to go through whatever you are going through instead of making me part of it.

For Daddy.

Dear DAD,

Thank you, for bringing mommy to the hospital every time she needs a check-up, for buying her my vitamins because you want me to be healthy, thank you for taking her to work so she won’t get tired and so that I will be safe. 

Did you know that I can hear you every time you talk to me thru mommy’s tummy? When you ask me to behave so I can let mommy sleep?  I am sorry if mommy is having a difficult time because of me, I didn’t mean to.

Did you know that I always look forward to every weekend, Saturday is my favorite day, because you go to the market and ask mommy whatever she wants and you would cook it for me because you want me to be happy.  You are the best DAD J 

I am sorry if I came to your life unannounced, I guess that’s how it is when someone is having a baby, nobody knows.  I heard you when you and mommy had a fight, I feel bad that I was almost unwanted, but I understand, please don’t be mad at me. I didn’t want you and mommy to fight.

I can feel too when you are having apprehensions about me, and I understand.  After 7 years of waiting, finally I came around; I think I am a miracle baby because when my lola died, that is when mommy knew that she is having me.  If you don’t want me, I understand, but I want you and I love you and if I have to choose over and over again, I would like you to be my father. 

It doesn’t matter if I don’t have a nice crib, but I rather sleep in bed beside you, I don’t need a crib, your arms are enough to put me to sleep.  I don’t need a huge space in the house, I am still a baby, and you can just carry me around if you want.

I hope that someday you will learn how to love me too.

I love you Dad, I will see you soon, I bet we will have fun together.

Love, Peanut.

Broken.

"there is nothing you can do to fix me, i am broken, you broke me. - ME.

Lokohan.

Niloko kita dahil pinabayaan mo ako.

Niloko mo ako, at patuloy na niloloko dahil malandi ka at malibog.

Big difference.  Putang ina, ang kapal din naman talaga ng apog mo, hindi ka ba nahihiya sa ginagawa mo na kelangan mong mag punta sa mga adult websites at kumuha ng bayarang babae para lang mailabas yang libog mo? Ganyan kababaw ang pagkalalake mo? Nakakahiya, ay mali, nakakadiri.

Bakit ka ganyan? Bakit di ka makuntento sa kung ano ang meron ka, bakit hindi mo magawang maging matino?   Kesehodang itinutuloy mo man o hindi, mali. maling-mali. Sana lang wag ka maka tyempo ng may sakit, hindi kita kakaawaan, ikakahihiya ko pa kung bakit ka nagkanyan, pag tinopak ako i-po-post ko po sa Facebook at Twitter.

Pregnantitis.

I bumped into an old friend when I went to the office today and she said, "Anong nangyari sa'yo, ba't ka nagkaganyan?" (What happened to you?), and this actually hurt my feelings, I am pregnant and you sounded like I have a deadly disease. I wanted to slap her. Hard.

You should be thankful that I didn't ask you the same question and to add more bitchiness, I'd like to add: "Anong nangyari sa'yo, bakit ka iniwan ng bf mo? And now parang syota ka ng bayan? (What happened to you, why did your bf left you, and now you are the town slut?)

People, you should learn that not all pregnant women are given to be beautiful during their period of pregnancy.  Some will gain weight, others will lose weight, some will grow their nose big, and others will retain their "not pregnant look"

Now, my message for you is, if you don't want to get pregnant, try not to sleep around.

Jessica Sanchez Made The World Go Mad.

You see, I am not really a big fan of talent shows or reality TV shows, but all this buzz got me hooked when they said that a 16-year old girl can sing.  half-Filipina, half-Mexican, Jessica Sanchez can sing whatever and she would sound great all the time, the way she would interpret each song is something that you will always remember, she's not always the judges' fave, there was a time that they had to "save" her because she got the lowest scores, but she proved them wrong, this young lady from SD just made it to the Top 2 of American Idol, season II.

Wishful.

My First.

I just turned 33 on the day where I had to celebrate my first Mother's day, on the other hand, my Mother's passing is still fresh in my memory so I am quite torn whether I should celebrate it or not.
And then I realized that this is something that I have been waiting for the longest time, to actually celebrate Mother's Day.  I am 17 weeks pregnant, and that is enough reason why I should celebrate Mother's Day.
Yesterday was made extra special by my Dada, he went to the market early and bought stuff and I ended up cooking most of them since he needs to attend a meeting that day, but he went home with a cake, chocolate flavored cake. So, I had noodles, lumpiang shanghai, homemade jello and chocolate flavored cake. I did not invite anybody since I have plans of   going to sleep early because I have work the following day.  I just hope that next year will be much better since I already have a baby in my hand the next time I celebrate my birthday.